All You Need
by xxmyobsession
Summary: It took him half a plane ride to California to realize everything he needed was back in Stars Hollow
1. Planes and Fathers

**Disclaimer-I own nothing but the story. I especially do not own the part from 'Here Comes the son'**

Jess sat in his seat in the 5th row of the plane heading for California. His deep, brown eyes were closed, and in his hand was his portable CD player. He was listening to Metallica's 'Fade to Black'.

The seat next to him was empty. He had bought two plane tickets, stupidly thinking he could get Rory to come with him. But he could never uproot her. She hadn't graduated yet, and she loved StarsHollow too much to leave it.

Jess's eyes shot open. He looked out the window. The ground, far, far below looked like strangely decorated tiles. Yellow with large, green cirlcesand vice versa. How long had he even been in this plane?

He checked his watch. Four hours. He was halfway to California **(a/n yeah, i've never been to Cali, so I don't know how long it takes**) He was already chickening out. Jess continued staring out the oval-shaped, plastic window. As far as he could see, it was all strange looking land and clouds. Lots of whispy, white clouds.

No Conneticut in sight.  
No stupid, cheerfulStars Hollow,pushing him down

He sighed and slumped down in his seat. He didn't feel right going to California, and he felt as if part of him wasn't there with him.

_Why am I going to California to see someone who obviously doesn't want me-never did? Why am I going to waste my time with someone who never even gave me a chance?_

A chance...

That was when it hit him. His finger automatically pressed the stop button.

Jess pulled his carry-on bag onto his lap and opened it. Inside where tons of books. At the top there was a copy of 'The Fountainhead'. Carefully, he lifted it up out of his bag.

'_Try reading it again! I think you'll enjoy it!  
with Love, Rory'_

It read on the inside cover in Rory's neat scrawl.Jess carefully turned the page, ready to give the book another chance, and something fell out of it. Curious, he picked it up.

It was a picture of Rory and her mother, that Jess had found on her living room floor one day, and picked up. Rory was wearing a plastic crown that read 'Happy Birthday'on it in big glittery letters. About a million feather boas were wrapped around her neck. The one that stuck out most was a pink one. She was smiling.

He flipped it over_. 'Me and Mom-my 16th _birthday' it read. He smirked, but then it quickly fell, and he was frowing. _I need to go back _was all he could think the remaining 4 hours.

>>>

As soon as Jess got off the plane, he went to the place where tickets were bought. There was close-to-no people on line, but he stood waiting impatiently, as if ants were in his pants.

He finally reached the desk ."Hi. How may I help you?" the woman asked almost robotically. Her white teeth looked strange against her tan face.

"When's the next flight to Hartford Connecticut?" he asked as nonchalatnly as he could.

She looked at a list. "Tomorrow at 11:00 a.m." She smiled again, and Jess nodded. "Can I but a ticket?"

He spent the next 10 minutes at the desk.

Then he walked to baggage claim, his eyebrows knitted together in an annoyed fashion.

Jess took a bus to the town his father, Jim, lived in. It took him a while to get there, and with each passing second he was growing more annoyed.

The beach was filled with people. He stood there, looking around, watching as people ran around, doing cartwheels, swimming, surfing, or whatever. It reminded him remotely of Stars Hollow.

When he finally reached his father's house, he was greeted by the barking of about 10 dogs, who immediately ran up to the gate. "Are you selling something?" asked a woman, standing on the roof. She wore a tropical looking bandana around her head.

"No. I'm here to see Jim. Jim Mariano," Jess shouted over the loud barking of the dogs.

"He's not here right now. Who are you?"

"Jess. Jess Mariano..."

"What? I can't hear you! Shut up Frodo!" she shouted. "You're hear to see Jim?"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?" she seemingly changed the subject. "Yeah..." Jess replied."You know when they ask to see the Wizard and the man with the beard says no. But then they tell him they have the ruby slippers, and he says 'well that's a horse of a different color!' and let's them in?"

Jess gave a small nod. "Well I'm the man with the beard, and I'm saying no unless you can give me the ruby slippers."

"I'm his-" he began quietly, then shook his head. "I'm his son!" he shouted over the dogs. The woman cocked her head to the side. "His son?"

"Jess!"

"Oh um...I'll be right down."

A moment later she was down by the gate. "I'm Sasha. Come on in." And she began walking into the house. "Do they bite?" Jess asked. Sasha turned around. "Just those two," and she pointed at all iof the dogs.

"Which two? Which two!" he asked louder, but she didn't hear. "Great," he whispered sarcastically to himself. "Just so you know, I'll bite back..." And he followed Sasha into her house.

Sashahad dyed white hair, in boy styled hair cut. There was a mole near her eye. She seemed kind of cool. Jess shrugged. Didn't matter. He was never going to live with her. He was going back to Stars Hollow in the morning...

>>>

Sasha led Jess to Jimmy's work, occasionally talking to people. She explained things to him a bit. The stopped at a hot-dog stand called 'Inferno'.

Sasha left the two, letting son-and-father catch up a bit. "Okay. Sites..." Jim said, looking around. "Ocean," he said, pointing.

"I was wondering what that was," Jess said somewhat sarcastically. "Sand." Jess nodded. "What keeps the ocean in place."

"Um...sky."

"We have one of the those back on the east." Jess nodded again. Jim also nodded, letting his son absorb it all. "Oh! And this is the boardwalk!"

Jess looked around.The boardwalk was filled with shops, cotton candy stands, and a million other things. "This is the boardwalk," he repeated. They were silent. Jess's hands were thrust in his pockets. "Hey Jim?" he eventually began, talking slowly, thinking about what to say for once.

"Yeah?" Jim asked, quickly lookign up from the ground and looking up at his 18-year-old son. "Can I crash at your place tonight?" Even though Jess hadn't wanted to, he was talking to his father. He had planned for this over-night trip he would be avoiding his father. He had wanted to just avoid the man who had avoided him for 18 years but...

"I don't have any money to get a room at a hotel."

"Umm..." Jim thought about it. He knew that he could never be a real father to him. "Look, I just need a place to crash for _one night_!" Jess exclaimed, suddenly becoming angry at his father. After all this time, the least he could do was let his son crash at his place for a night.

"What, are you _magically _going to have money tomorrow!" He sounded angry too.

"What are getting angry about?" Jess asked, raising an eyebrow. His lip curled up Elvis Presley style.

"How are you going to pay for a hotel room after tonight?"

"Whatar eyou talking about! I'm leaving after tonight. There's someone I need to get back to in Stars Hollow, believe it or not! Yes, I am going back to that crazy town!" he shouted, and ran his hand nervously through his dark mess of hair.

"Oh..." Jim went quiet.

"What are you disappointed for! You obviously didn't want me, or else you would have staye dwith my wack-job mother!" Jess's jaw was clenched angrily as he stared at his father through his dark eyes. Jim looked back at him, shaking his head disbelievingly. "You couldn't be more wrong..." he said quietly

"Oh yeah! Then why did you _leave!_"

"I left because I knew Icouldn't take care of you! I left because I wasn't even grown up, how could I possibly raise a kid? I left because I hadn't figured myself out yet! I couldn't posisbly take care of you, your mother, and _myself_ yet!" Jim shouted. It was Jess's turn to be silent and shake his head. "Well you probably could have done a better job than Mom."

"No I couldn't have! I was a screw-up! I still am!"

"Well the apple doens't fall far from the tree, now does it?" Jess asked sarcastically. Jim grabbed his son by the forearm and shook him. "Don't say that! You're young! You can do anything! Go to college, get a job! Just don't become like me!"

"Jim, I'm gonna be like that hat selle rover there if I don't pick up my life! I just took a plane out here to California to see a man who never took any interest in me, leaving the girl I _love_ to do so! I can't go back to Luke and live with him, Liz can't go two seconds without losing something, she's such a messed-up wack-job! I can't graduate from highschool because I took too many days off to go to my _stupid_ WalMart job, just to pay for my_ crappy_ car that was, oddly enough, stolen!" He attempted listing it all on his fingers, but lost track.

Jim had nothing to say. "Exactly. Now will you _please _just let my spend the night with you so I can go back to Connecticut in the morning?" For once, Jess looked pleading. Jim looked from side to side, weighing his options. "Okay. I just need to check with Sasha."

"Thank you!" Jess said, letting excess air out of his mouth.

>>>

It was 10:00 in the morning. Jess had slept in the Living room on the extra matress. He had grabbed a piece of toast before stepping out of the door with his luggage. He walked around, looking for the bus stop for a while. When he finally found it, he sat waiting for 10 minutes, holding some money in his hands.

The bus drove up, and Jess stood. He boarded it and headed for the back after paying the driver. It took a few minutes for them to arrive, and as soon as they did, he pushed ast people and ran into the airport. It struck 10:15. He rushed to the check-in desk or whatever.

After gettign through everything, it was 10:58. Luckily, not many people were on the plane to Hartford. He ran onto the plane, accidentally running straight into the fligh attendant. "Sorry," he mumbled, duckig his head down. And he walked down the aisle like that, holding is carry-on bag out in front of him, look for his seat.

**a/n just in case you haven't already noticed, this fic takes place in the third season. :D Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my 4th gilmore girls fic**


	2. Luke

By the time the plane landed it was 7:15. Jess hadn't slept at all during the flight. He was nervous about seeing Rory. Had she noticed he left? Would she be too mad to talk to him?

He ran to baggage claim, then went to a payphone. He began dialign a number, not noticing who it was he was calling.

"Hello?" she aske dinto the phone.

Jess went cold, and couldn't say anything. "Hello?" she asked again. And then Jes shung up, mentally slapping himself.

_What was I thinking!_ he screamed inside his head. Rory was the only perosn he really ever called. He just wasn't used to dialing another number,

"Let's see...what's the cab company's numbeR...?" he asked himself, staring at the payphone. There was a list of bus and cab comapines and their numbers. He called the first cab company on the list.

>>>

The cab passed by the Gilmore house. Jess was careful to duck. "Luke's diner, right?" the driver asked, stopping the vehicle and turning around. Jess nodded. He didn't know if Luke would let him stay, but he had to try.

A minute later, the cab stopped. "Here we are. Five dollars please." Jess mumbled something incomprehnsible as he looked through his wallet and pulled out a five.

He then climbe dout of the car, carrying with him his giant green sack filled with his stuff.

The sign on Luke's door read closed. Jess took a deep breath, then reached above the doorframe andgrabbed the spare key.

As soon as Jess walked in, Luke came down from the aprtment above. All of the chairs were already up on the table. Luke took one down, and sat.

"Y-you're back," he said, shocked.

"Nice to see you too, Uncle Luke," Jess replied. He was back to saying that, not sure on where he and Luke stood.

"I thought you were gone for good."

"Well looks like I wasn't." Jess replied sarcastically. He had already dropped his bag on the ground, and was now takign another red chair off the table.

"What ar eyou doing here?" Luke asked. "I thought you wanted to go to sunny California to see your weiner father."

"Well. It took me 4 hours on a plane to realize I wanted nothing to do with him."

Luke couldn't help but smile at that. "Don't be thinking I came back to be with you!" Jess warned, pointing at his uncle.

They were silent for a moment. "So. Where are you going to stay?" Luke asked.

Jess mumbled something. "What was that?" Luke asked, putting his hand behind his ear. Jess rolled his eyes. "I was thinking I could stay with you!" he said loudly.

Luke snorted. "What?" Jess asked indignantly. Luke shook his head. "We had an agreement that if you were going to stay with me, you'd graduate."

"Well I'm **not **graduating," Jess said with a false smile and with false sweetness in his voice, which was really covering up his annoyance.

"Well then you're **not **staying here," Luke replied with the same false smile, his head tilted to the side.

Jess sighed. "Fien. I'll take the year over, I'll work at the diner, I'll quit my WalMart job. I just...I need to stay here," he said, admititng defeat. Luke nodded. "Alright. You can stay."

They were once again silent.

"Does Rory know I'm gone?" Jess asked almost weakly. Luke nodded. Jess sighed."Can you do me one more favor?"

"Yah?" Luke aske,d lifting his hea dup, interested.

"Just don't tell her I'm back yet." And with that said, Jess lugged his things up the stairs.

>>>

He didn't sleep at all that night. After 16 hours of flying in 2 days, you'd think he was tired, but he wasn't.

'The Clash' was blasting on his walkman as he lay stretched out, awake on his bed. Now matter how loud he turned the volume up to, it wouldn't drown out Luke's snoring. So he decided to just ignore it, and concentrate on his music.

**a/n okay, so here's chaptertwo! I thank the perosn who reveiwed the first chapter, I'm glad you liked it! Hoep you liked this one too, and please people, be kind and review :D 'It's common courtesy' as Kyle would say (Keg! Max!)**


	3. Diner

**a/n omg thank you so much reviewers! I am now back with the third chapter. I write these whole things during tests. Thye give us 55 minutes for something that only takes 15. It's so ridiculous, so I just sit and write while I wait for the others to finish. Of cours,e then I have to type the three pages I wrote. That is really, really, annoying. Trust me.**

Luke was awake at 5:00 a.m. He was tip-toeing across the apartment, trying not to wake Jess. But Jess was already awake. He hadn't slept at all. "Luke, I'm awake!" he called out loudly. He could just see the outline of Luke in the dim light of the lamp. "I didn't sleep at all! Your snoring kept me up!" He joke.d That wasn't really the reason.

Jess managed to make out Luke rollign his eyes. "Hey! Bring me up some breakfat, will you? I'm starved!" Jess exclaimed right before Luke opened the door. "She isn't going to be here. You can go down!" Luke siad, annoyed. "Hey! You never know with the Gilmores!" It was a fair statement.

"Just come down," Luke growled. Jess rolled his eyes and mumbled somehtign about how it wouldn't be hard for him to just bring up some breakfast as he heaved himself out of bed.

He and Luke both stumbled down the stairs blindly, for no lights were on. "I think I'm going to have coffee for once," Jess declared as he yawned. "So why didn't you sleep?" Luke asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"I told you! Because of your snoring!" Jess exclaimed.

"It was **NOT **because of my snoring."

Jess shrugged. "I just wasn't tired." He began preparing himself some hashbrowns and scrambled eggs with ham and cheese. His stomach le tout a small grumble, which he never allowed. "Thinking about Rory?" Luke grinend and nudged his nephew. Jess snorted. "I wasn't thinking about Rory," he said plainly, and that was the end of that.

>>>

Both Luke and Jess were up in the apartment. Jess was sititng on his bed, eating his breakfast, while Luke was searching the enitire place for something or other. "You know," Luke began, digigng through a box, "You aren't going to be able to leavethe apartment."

"I know," Jess said, uncaring.

"Someone will see you, and they'll tell someone, and eventually it will get to Rory."

"I know," Jess repeated, aggrivated.

"And I don't get it. Why don't you wnat Rory to know you're back? Aha! Got it!" He triumphantly held up an egg beater, proud about his accomplishment.

"It's not time. She'll be too mad..."

"She only get madder the longer you wait," Lue said seriously.

"It's just not time." ess was acting unlike himself. He worked on an impulse. f there was something he wnated or needed to do, he did it, wihtout thinking of consequeces until the deed was already commited. But now he was thinking. The wheels in his head were turning.

"Well you better make sure it's time before she's with someone else..." Jess didn't say anything to that, only continued eating.

>>>

It was 7:00. Rory and he rmother were runnig towards uke's for their breakfast. But suddenlt, Rory stopped, and wlaked backwards, looking intently at the apartment windows. She had thought she had seen Jess, staring out at her through the window. It pained her to find he wasn't there, but she shrugged it off. _Guess he just wasn't there..._ she thought

The bells jingled as they walked in, but for once it didn't sound merry to Rory. "Coffee and a donut please!" Rory said to Luke. "Same!" Lorelai said happily.

"Two coffees, two donuts coming up!" he said, not looking either of them in the eye.

"Luke! I know Jess is gone! You cna look me in the eye now!" Rory said. She tried smiling, butcouldn't. It hurt to much. The thought of Jess leaving just hurt.

"Oh. You know? Phew! That's a relief..." Luke lied, and handed the two Gilmores their orders.

Rory took one sip of her coffee then looked at her watch. "I've got to go! Bye Mom!" She kissed he rmother's cheek.

"Bye hun!"

And with that, Rory ran out the door.

>>>

Jess stare dout the window, bored. He was listening to the Rolling Stones. Rory and Lorelai ran by. Rory stopped and backed up, squinting up at the apartment building. Jesspulled himself away from the window, out of view from Rory's marvelous blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds.

She had almost seen him. If she had, things wouldn't be good.

A coupel minutes past. Jess ahd heard his name mentioned downstairs by Rory. She sounded pained, hurt. Jess hated being the cause of that.

A few more minutes past. He was back to staring out the window. Then Rory ran out of the diner towards her bus stop, her auburn hair flying behind her as she went. Jess couldn't see why he left her to be with his scum bag fathe rin the first place. What had been wrongwith him? He had left, not thinking he was good enough, not wanting to hurt her, and he ended up hurting her more than he could have imagined in the process.

Jess watched Rory until she was out of sight like a lost puppy. A pathetic, lost puppy dog. He tore away from the window and slumped down in one of the kitchen chairs. His fingers drummed on the wodden surface, but there was no rhythm. It was so boring up here.

_Maybe I should just tell her I'm back so I can get out of here. Who cares abot timing? _But he was going to wait. He was going to wait to tell her. _But it has to be before her graduation_ he decided. Unconsiously, he stared at the wall. His eyes were tired. He was tired. And he was going out of focus.

>>>

"Jess-Jess wake up. It's 1:00 p.m.." There was amusement in Luke's voice as he shook his nephew, trying to wake him from his sleep. Jess lifted his head and rubbed his eyes, yawning. He looked down at the table his head had been resting on witha raised eyebrow. Shaking it off, he looked at Luke. "What time is it?" he asked

"One o'clock," Luke said, grinning as he rocked back and forth on hsi feet. Jess shot up out of his chair. "Holy crap! I've been asleep for 5 freakn' hours! Why the heck didn't you wake me up earlier!" Jess asked, giving hisuncle and angrily questioning look. His dark eyebrows were furrowed together. "Thought you'd wnat your rest," Luke said, chuckling to himself. "It isn't funny! Now I'm gonna be all messed up when I go to sleep tonight!" Jess shouted

"_If _you go to sleep tonight." Luke pointedly held up his index finger. Jess scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I am _going_ to sleep tonight. No way I'm falling asleep on the tbale again for you to mock me." And with that, Jess walked over to his dresser and grabebd a couple CDs. Deciding on 'The Ramones' he sat down on his bed, relaxing and listenign to the obnoxiously loud music.

>>>

Jess was convenitnatly staring out the window when Rory came walkign towards the diner after school. She looked tired, and her eyes looked dull. But they had looked dull that morning too. Well somewhat. When she was looking up at the window, they seemed a little sparkly. But now they were like coal, only blue.

She didn't see him this time. Didn't even look up at the window in hope of catching him. Part of him was glad, while the other one was disappointed. He slappe dhimself a million times over every day for leaving Stars Hollow in the first place, no matter how creepily jolly it was.

>>>

Rory steppe dinto the diner and wlaked up the counter, relieving herself the heavy weight of her backpack as she prepared to slide onto a stool. "Hey Luke," she said, giving a faint smile. He grinned at her. "Hello Rory. What can I get you?"

"Well aren't we jolly today!" she said, smiling in approval. "I'll have a cheeseburger and a coffee please. Try and make it quick. I need to go home." She gave a stressed smile. Luke nodded. "I'll try." Rory let out relieved air. "Thank you. And I'm sorry." She seemed genuinley sorry and grateful.

But she didn't need to get home. In honesty, she just needed to get out of the diner. Too many memories. Too many painful memories. But they were oddly sweet at the same time. Or they would be one day as she was looking back. But now that she was still living it, it was hurting too much.

A moment later, a burger and a coffee were place din front of her. She began eating very quickly, and gulping down the coffee. "You relaly are in a hurry, aren't you?" he askedas he suspiciously watched his nephew's ex girlfriend. "I could beat a motorcylce at the rush I'm in, baby," Rory said, add9ing the 'baby' for affect. Luke chuckled.

As soon as she finishe,d she paid and ran out of the diner and back towards her house. Her backpack, however, was not taking the journey with her. She had left it there, sitting beside the counter. Good thing she didn't have any homework, becuas eit was very liekly she wouldn't even notce her backpack was gone.

>>>

Jess heard Rory talking, and he knew she just wanted to get out of the diner. He kenw her better than anybody. He could tell how she was feeling. He knew the feleing of wanting to get out, but under different circumstances. He shook his hea.d He had to stop thinking about her.

**a/n okay, thank you my wonderful reviewers. I feel so special. And Nikki, honey! It's okay you haven't reviewed! I haven't reviewed yours. Mainly because I tell you to your fce sicne I always read them at your hous,e but...and you cna take credit for my writing. You're the one who made me pay attention in English, made me like Gilmore Girls, and made me adore writing. So take all the credit you want.**

**Anywya, thank you all for reaidng, and feel free leaving comments!**


	4. Rotting

When the next mornign came, Jess woke up from a nice sleep just in time to hear what was going on downstairs in the diner with Rory and Lorelai. They came earlier than usual, and Jess was up earlier than usual.

He listened carefully, creeping himself out with his obsessiveness.

>>>

Luke slid Rory and Lorelai some mugs, then filled them with coffee. "You know, Rory. You left your backpack here yesterday. I would have brought it over for you, but the diner was packed and I couldn't get away."

"Oh. Thank god. I was worried sick over at home. I couldn't find it anywhere, and I'd still be looking now, but Mom convinced me to come get some coffee!" Rory exclaimed, letitng out a sigh of relief.

"And it's a good thing, too, isn't it?" Lorelai asked, a smug smiel on her face. Rory nodded. "Yes. It was a very good thing," she agreed."So where is it?" she looked over at Luke.

"I brought it upstairs so nothing would happen to it," he said. Rorysmiled. "Aw. That's so sweet." She hit his arm ."Somethign could have been stolen, and I figured you'd need everything. It was no biggie!"

"Did you hear him, honey? He said 'no biggie'." Lorelai said, eyes wide. She was using her jokingly seriosu voice. Rory nodde. "I heard him with my own two ears."

"Stop it." Luke growled. Lorelai and her daughter grinned and laughed. "I'll go get your backpack for you."

"No! It's okay. I can get it. There's people who need serving!" Rory said, beginnign to get up off of her stool. Luke , becomming nervous, wlaked around the counter and got her back into her seat. "No. That's okay. Jess can take care of them," he said.

Rory and Lorelai looked at each other, Lorelai raising ehr eyebrows. "Jess?He's um-back?" Rory croaked. Realizing what he said, Luke shook his head. "No! No No! I'm just not used to him being gone yet is all."

"Oh. Okay..." All jopes Rory had sunk back down and she seemed crest fallen. Lorelai pouted and gave a sympethetic noise, then hugged her daughter and rubbed her arm. "It's okay..." she whispered and kissed the top of her head

"I'm just gonna go get your backpack..." Luke said, pointing behind him with his thumb and back up until he was behind the curtain and on the stairs, and he ran.

Throwing open the door, he was imemdiately greeted with a hiss from Jess. "You almost let her up here!" he was standing right near the door. "But I didn't!" Luke said triumphantly. "And you almost let it slip I was back!" he hissed, following his uncle around.

"But she doesn't know!" Jess shook his head. "Never mind. Let me get her back pack." He went and got her bright yellow backpack out from inside the closet, and handed it over to his uncle with longing in his eyes.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Luke asked, pulling the backpack away. Jess shook his head. "I can't-" but Luke cut him off. "It's not the right time. Yeah, yeah. I heard you before."

Jess gave Luke a menacing glare. "When did you decide to run by a schedule anyway? What happened to the 'I'm Jess Mariano! I live by an impulse!'?" Jess didn't answer, just stared blankly. Luke shook his head. "Never mind. I've got to go give this back to Rory."

And with that he was back down the stairs, carrying Rory's honey bee yellow backpack with him as he went. Leaving Jess alone, feeling as bored as Lorelai and Sookie were at that INN class.

>>>

Hours passed by. Jess felt as if he was goign to pas sout from boredom. He never before realized how little was on TV as he did right then. Nothing good was on VH1, MTV, or anything. The TV guide, which usually ahd soem pretty interesting stuff, made hsi eyes twitch from boredom.

Books were boring. Music, killed him. If anything sat too long in this apartment, all the entertainment in it seemed to rot right out. Jess actually felt like going to school. Too bad he couldn't.

He wanted to go downstairs and help Luke, just to be doign something, but he was stuck up in the apartment, away from any form of humanity. Any form of entertainment. He even seemed to have lost the ability to be sarcastic, which was always fun.

He ran his hand through his hair, which he hadn't been greasing up, not seeing the point. He wasn't going anywhere. H ewasn't seeing anyone. Jess let out a deep sigh. He was rotting away into nothing. _Screw timing. I need to tell Rory I'm back and I need to get out of here! _He often screamed at himself, but would always convince himself that he had to wait. He had to wait, give her space. He had to wait until he could trust himself to give her everythign she wanted.

So he was liek an apple, sitting on the ground, fallen down beyond saving, rotting from the inside out. And he felt as if he was goign insane. _Besides making sure it's time before she moves on, I have to make sure it's time before the men in white coats come to take me..._he thought bitterly and once again looked for somehting on TV.

>>>

Night came. Luke brought up some food and sat with Jess for a while. "So. You okay sitting up here all day everyday?" Jess shrugged, not wanting to complain. "It's fine."

"You must want to get outside."

"It would be **nice," **he said bitterly. Luke nodded. "Yeah. I can tell. So can everyone else in the diner."

"You told them I'm back!" Jess accused, hissing at his uncle. Luke sighed. "No. You're stomping around up here, and the cieling is starting to fall little by little. Kirk thinks I'm holding someone ransom up here."

Jess rolled his eyes and eased back into his chair. " Kirk always was an idiot," he said, smirking. Luke shook his head. "Just please, walk lightly." Jess sighed. "Fine."

>>>

Rory was standing by the front door. "Five...four...three...two..." she was coutning down for something or other. Lorelai came hopping over, trying to pull on her shoe. "Did I do it?" she asked, putitng her foot down. "Yup! You beat your last record by one second!"

"I say this is a time for celebration!" Lorelai declared. Rory grinned. "After dinner." It was Friday, and Rory was timing how quick Lorelai got ready. Lorelai sighed. "Fine..."

They had planned a dinner with Sookie and Jackson, that both were looking forward to, but Lorleai just didn't like formal gatherings all that much. She just wnated to party.

They met Sookie and Jackson in the town square, then went off to dinner. From upstairs at Luke's apartment, Jess had taken to looking out the window again, and he watched as Rry and he rmother went off.

_I'm pathetic..._

**a/n how do you like? Is it too short? too boring? Just tell me. This story, just so you all know, isn't going to have a lot of chapters. But there WILL be a sequal. So...since I divulged a little information, return the favor and divulge something to me :D**


	5. Back

**a/n hey there! Thank you for your divulging! It makes me happy! Very happy indeed! Now enjoy the chapter! Hopefully it's not too short...**

A couple days passed. All Jess really did was think, eat, go to the bathroom, and sleep. And with all the thinking and convincing himself not to tell Rory, he began to know that he could give her everything. He would get the moon. He wanted to see her smile. Forget that, he wanted to see her. For her to see him. And for his wishes to be granted, he needed to get out of the foresaken apartment.

"I'm going to tell her I'm back!" Jess declared that morning. It was 5:15, and he was sitting in the storage room. Early mornings were the only chances he got to get out of the apartment, so he decided to always get up early, no matter how tired he was. "Oh yeah?" Luke asked, looking over his shoulder from unpacking a load of bacon. "Tired of waiting?"

"Yes. Plus I can trust myself." Jess felt very open. He never felt that way with Luke. It was strange. "Trust yourself to what?" Luke asked. He thought he didn't want to know. Jess rolled his eyes. "To give her what she needs." Luke nodded, relieved, and understanding. "Oh." He paused. "So when are you going to tell her?"

"Tonight," Jess replied. He got up off of his bottom and began unpacking the carboard box he had been sititng on. Luke stopped. "You sure she'll be able to handle it?" Jess shrugged. "Well it's better than telling her in the morning, when she'll be upset all day in school, now isn't it? At least she'll be able to sleep it off."

Luke shrugged, then nodded. "Yeah," Jess said, nodding , grinning a false grin. He seemed suddenly upset. Maybe it was the idea of finally telling Rory.He ad been back for about a week. Maybe a little longer. He lost track, sititng up inside the apartment. It was hard to concentrate sitting in the same spot days on end, not being able to venture out into the real world. Not that there really **was** a real world in Stars Hollow.

They worked silently. The stale smell of the cardboard box somehow made Jess happy. It somehow made him relieved. And the smell of meat, the feel of frozen boxes and packages, made him feel the same. He had never been so glad to be at the diner then he was those early mornings. "Okay. Diner should be opening. Back upstairs!" Luke said in his growl-like voice. Jess grumbled and dropped what he was holding, and headed back upstairs to the apartment.

He immediately plopped down on his bed, deciding to quickly take a nap. He absent mindedly set his alarm clock, not realizing that the people downstairs in the diner would hear it when it went off. He didn't think ahead, not now. He would once Rory knew he was back. He would try and be a better person. **Try **being the key word.

>>>

About four hours after Jess went upstairs, Luke heard an annoying beeping sound coming from upstairs. And so did his customers. His hand jerked, spilling the coffee he was pouring. "Sorry," he grumbled. He got a rag and wiped it up.

As he was passing to go put the rag away, there was a tap on his arm ."Yeah?" he asked, turning aorund. His face fell into its usual angry expression. "Oh. It's you Taylor. What do you want?" Taylor cleare dhis throat. "I was wondering, are you going to take care of that **annoying **beeping noise?"

"Oh yes. Right after I still a potatoe up your nose," he said sarcastically, and wlaked off, leaving Taylor holding up a quesitoning finger, with that annoying flustered/ questioning face. "What is it, anyway?" Kirk asked.

"It's my alarm clock, haven't you ever heard of it?" he asked, annoyed. "But why is it going off?" Luke quickly made up a lie. "I was planning on getting up late today, opening the diner later, but I woke up early and ended up opening it the regular time. Must've gforgotten to turn it off."

Thne he ran up the stairs and burst through the doors. Jess was sleeping soundly in bed, his mouth open, but for once no snoring. Luke scowled and turned the alarm clock off, then shook Jess. "Jess-Jess get up!" he hissed. Eventually Jess's eyes shot open and he stared at his uncle's infuriated face.

"Whoah! Not a pretty picture to be waking up to, uncle Luke!" he sarcastically exclaimed. "Well I'm not in a very pretty mood! What were you doing having your alarm clock on! Have you no brains? They could hear it downstairs! I had to make up a lie to expain it." He wa spointing at the door, indicating to the diner.

"Well at leas I have you," was Jess's sarcastic reply. Luke pulled him up out of bed. "Why were you sleeping?" He sounded tired. "To rest up," Jess replied obviously. "**For**?"

"For telling Rory. I'm also going to shower...probably use the bathroom before I go, too..." He said thoughtfully. "Whay ar eyou telling me this?" Luke looked both disgusted and questioning. "Just thought you wnated to know all my plans for the day," he replied, a sneer easily sliding onto his olive colored face.

Luke shook his head. "Just kepe it down..." he sighed, and left the apartment.

>>>

Night came. When the Gilmores came, Jess saw. He had showered, and he now took a deep breath. Luke pushed Lorelai outside and away from the diner, her questioning him and giving him strange looks the whole way. He took another deep breath, and then wlaked down the stairs.

Rory was in the middle of laughing at Luke and Lorelai, when she saw Jess. No one else was in the diner. Had Luke planned this? Jess gave a tiny smile. "Hey," he croaked, and ran his hands nervously through his greased up hair. "Hey," Rory croaked back. She looked at her plate, then back up at him.

"Can we talk?" Jess gave a faltering smile. Rory stuttered nervously, looking anywhere but at him. "Um...yeah. Sure." She stood, forgetting about the food on her plate. "The bridge I presume?" she asked. Jess nodded, and the two headed out.

It was a slightly awkward walk. They stayed at a distance as they walked through the eerily empty Stars Hollow streets. It was lit only by the tremendously dim street lights. Roey looked at the ground and saw how close their shadows were. She looked up an noticed that her shoulder was brushing with his. She blushed, and took a step to the side. Jess noticed and smirked, his cheeks also tinging pink.

They reached the bridge and both stood there. So many memories...good and bad. Jess looked at Rory. So scared an timid. He wanted to pull her to him and kiss her deeply. But he couldn't. He was an idiot and ran away from her. Afraid he wasn't good enough for her, that she needed a Dean. He neede to talk, reason with her. Ask if they could start all over...be friends. He cleared his throat nervously.

Rory stared at Jess, and felt herself shudder. She still loved him. But it hurt too much. She couldn't be that girl who just threw the past away and welcomed the guy back with no argue. She wanted ot be right then, but she knew she couldn't. She had to think, be wise about this. But man she wnated to kiss him, to wlak down the street with him, head resting on his shoulder. But she wouldn't be that girl who threw it all away. She had goals, expectations for christ's sake! Rory bit her lip and looked at the ground to prevent the urge of leaping at him.

"Shall we?" he invited. Rory sat. "How long have you been back?" she asked. "Boy aren't we just jumping right it!" Jess smirked. He was trying to be evasive. "You wanted to talk, so I'm talking." Jess didn't answer.

**a/n okay. sorry if the ending is not great. I was gonna put another thing but my mind went blank as to what it was. Drats. well. sorry for taking so long to update. Nikki and I's friend came visiting from Florida, and the day before that I slept over at another friend's house. so...yeah. Hope you enjoyed. Fell free to review!**


End file.
